Why Your Dumb New Year’s Resolutions Never Last (and why mine WILL)

Ah, there’s nothing like the dreaded “So, what’s your New Year’s resolution this year?”

When people ask this question, the answer will most likely be one of four things:

1. Start working out

2. Eat healthier

3. Pursue a new skill/hobby

4. Save more money
   

   By mid-February, about 80% of New Year’s resolutions have already failed (lol).

Here’s the issue: we shouldn't be thinking of a resolution for the sake of “tradition.”

It’s evident that everyone — even the New Year’s resolution naysayers (me) — feels this overwhelming pressure to stir up a resolution by the time the clock strikes 12 on Jan 1st. It’s become a global tradition and we almost feel like a failure if we don’t have a goal in mind.

Your goals should start during a change in your life — during a season of growth. While the new year is metaphorically a great time to turn a new leaf, it has to come naturally. You don’t NEED to have a resolution ready by a specific date. Start it when it makes sense.

Think about the time in your life at this very moment. What is something that’s been holding you back from your highest potential? What is something you’ve been so afraid of for most of your life? What is something you can’t live without that you need to free yourself from?

Dig deep and tune into your higher self. Figure out what THAT version of yourself is telling you to change. This could be a multitude of things.

Why do we think SO big yet so vague?

Instead of thinking about things like losing weight or saving more money — think about what needs to happen within you to make those changes. What’s holding you back from going to the gym and eating better? Probably a lack of motivation. What’s holding you back from saving more money? Most likely a lack of self-control. THESE are the things to work on.

These are the issues within you that you need to focus on first before setting goals of going to the gym 5 days a week and eating nothing but kale and unseasoned chicken breast. It’s time for you to get REAL specific. What is something you know you have needed to do for a long time but keep putting off? For me, it’s finding solace in solitude. I mean, real solitude. 

Why my 2024 New Year’s resolution is to be alone.

Since I was about 16, I have been in long-term relationships until just before I turned 27. I hadn’t spent longer than 3 months being single in TEN F**KING YEARS. I mean, red flags — am I right? I have always been scared to be alone and it’s held me back in several ways. I know it sounds annoyingly cliche, but I’ve never really been able to figure out who I am without someone. 

So how do I know this is what I have to do this year? I mean, I always knew; however, it usually takes a tale of unfortunate events to trigger such a deep desire for change. Without getting into TOO much detail, I learned that jumping from one long-term relationship to another without true inner growth will most definitely come up to bite me in the plush derrière at some point. 

The big sign I chose to accept:

What confirmed to me that I had to indulge and learn to enjoy singleness while I become my own dream woman, was a devotion I read on December 31st. The word that kept coming up was solitude and I knew right then and there — that’s it — that’s my New Year’s resolution. Embrace and find comfort in solitude.

I never learned how to heal by myself and just be. Finding comfort in our own company is extremely important if we want to attract stable and healthy relationships in the future while being in tune with our highest selves. I will get into this idea further in another blog post. 

Not that I’m swearing off relationships, but this year, I do not want to actively seek one out like I once so desperately did. I will let it come to me in due time.

So what's calling out your name like the McFlurry from McDonalds? 

Darling, SWEETIE — you already know. Don’t kid yourself. You already know what you have to do. You’ve been avoiding it and you need to figure out WHY you’ve been avoiding it. Start there and try to find some answers for yourself; maybe even ask friends or family for their brutal honesty or their help. Get them to hold you accountable.

For example: something I’ve wanted to work on is my posture, so I told my grandmother that whenever I’m slouching she has my full permission to slap my back and tell me to straighten up (like she’s done my whole life).

Have several little goals:

Sometimes we think we need some GRAND resolution that will drastically change our lives. Maybe this year you need to focus on the smaller things like eating fewer Doritos or maybe only eating ONE row of Oreo thins at a time. Okay, I may be projecting but you get the gist.

An example of this is that I know every year I tell myself I should start a workout routine but then I get overwhelmed by the idea and commitment. What I chose to commit to in 2024 instead, is using the treadmill 4 times a week to get moving and boost my endurance. Then, if I feel like it, I can start doing more. 

Just please be realistic, PLEASE.

I think the most important thing to remember is that it may be a new year, but it’s the same you. You’re not going to drastically change unless you put in the hard work and effort in your personal development. It’s also TOTALLY okay to be the same you (as long as you’re not toxic) — you don’t have to constantly reinvent yourself.

So to recap, remember: you don’t NEED to have a resolution by a specific date; set your goals during a time that makes the most sense in your life. Look deep within yourself and start small and realistic.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, just hold yourself accountable and keep trying.  Right now, I’m learning how to treat myself the way I deserve and so should you! You’ll be fine. Oh, and Happy New Year! <3