Why I DON’T Hate Men.
Okay ladies, I need you to hear me out. I am someone who has every reason to wish for men to burn slowly. I mean, my issues with men started when I was four years old (lol).
I even went through an “all men are trash” phase in college, but quickly realized that didn’t justify any of the pain I went/was going through. Shifting my mindset and broadening the picture helped me see things from a new perspective.
But I have to be brutally honest…
If you go around saying you hate men, your chances of finding a quality man are a lot slimmer than if you deal with those feelings in more healthy ways.
For generations, women and children have been subjected to violence, sexual assault, r*pe, murder and suppression as a whole. The monstrous actions that have — and continue — to take place at the hands of men are simply unacceptable.
There are horrible, toxic, abusive men out there; I am not diminishing the actions of anyone. However, while I do believe this type of person is predominantly male, there are also horrible, toxic, abusive women out there too.
The truth is: there are horrible people in GENERAL.
For as long as we’re alive, we’re going to come across bad people from time to time. Sometimes we really are just kind souls who get treated poorly by unkind people, but we have to keep moving.
However, if you’ve read my other posts, you know how I firmly believe in a victor-over-victim mentality for several reasons. One of those reasons being that if you keep blaming everyone else for where you are, nothing is going to change. NO ONE is going to change.
I’ve had friends tell me about awful situations with exes only for them to continue going after the same type of man immediately after (baby girl, I LOVE YOU, I’m just looking out for you). This results in a cycle that always ends in “I hate men.”
Hating someone is a choice.
Just remember how I said I have every reason to hate men; however, I do genuinely believe that feeling animosity toward someone is a choice. Hating someone who has hurt me is a choice. Hate gives people power over your being — why would you want that? Do you want them to win?
Choose.
Your.
Path.
I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt (way more than I should at times). BUT… one thing I can say about myself is that I never go into a relationship being anyone other than myself, no matter who has hurt me prior.
I’m always going to be fully transparent about who I am and once you’ve proven to be worth my time, I’ll dive in head first with love and trust because that's what you’re SUPPOSED to do.
The main point is to make sure you’re attracting the right kind of person in your life so you don’t end up severely hurt, manipulated and resentful over placing your trust in the wrong person.
What about you?
There had been times in my ruinous early twenties when I would put down the men who had hurt me without really looking within. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I wasn’t being a quality person either.
I am NOT saying that’s an excuse for someone to treat you badly, but it makes sense WHY I was in those situations with those people, to begin with. Not only was I accepting the poor behaviour, but I was also contributing to it.
You’re MORE than your past, so please… take a look at what you’re putting out there.
What message are you giving people?
If you publicly victimize yourself, you’re going to attract manipulators or enablers (who really don’t have your best interest at heart). If you hate men, you’re more likely to attract a man who hates himself as well.
You need to work on these feelings, baby love.
Men get hurt too.
Sometimes (not always, don’t yell at me) men are shitty because women are shitty. I know that’s the most poetic thing I’ve ever said, but it’s true; A LOT of women take advantage of really nice guys. And a LOT of women use men for money. Just like there are poor-quality men, there are poor-quality women.
I’ve noticed more women saying things like, “Men deserve to be used and hurt” and hey, evil people DO deserve that. Does that mean we have to act like this to prove a point? Where will that get us? It’s not up to us to punish anyone. You also don’t want to punish the whole sex because of what some have done.
With a growing number of hurting men and young boys watching red pill bros on YouTube, we’re starting to see a rise in men hating women in today’s culture. It’s quite alarming how we’re all turning against each other even further during these times of a monumental divide in humanity.
It makes me so sad — I feel like everyone just needs a giant hug. I mean, hell… we all have a sad song to sing. At the end of the day, men and women need each other to keep the globe turning and that’s a beautiful thing! I love what men can provide and add to my life.
You know what? There are also REALLY good men.
I have met some of the most loving, caring and patient men who are deeply devoted to their wives and families. It’s truly a beautiful thing to witness and I believe there are many WONDERFUL men out there.
I know most of them are married with a family but that’s partially why we keep meeting the wrong men; a lot of the good ones are taken. I mean, the same issue with the good women.
Some of us took longer to grow or have a more elaborate and divine plan so it takes us just a little longer, but that’s okay!
There are good people out there y’all — just harder to come by.
I have the utmost hope and faith that those good people will find each other in due time as long as you keep leading with love and authenticity.
I want you to look at yourself in a higher regard because finding the right person starts with you. Just remember to not let anyone dim your shine, sweet thang.
I CHOOSE not to hate men. I CHOOSE not to have trust issues. I CHOOSE not to be bitter. I am NOT going to stop being expressive for fear of being shut down.
I mean, I’m still going to satirically sigh while uttering the word “men” at any given moment.
But anywho —
